Open space available in my brain

Yesterday I drove down to Long Beach just to turn in my thesis! It was worth it! I am done with it, unless they come back with a million changes or something! But I don't think there will be many.

When I got home, I sat down on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief out loud. I thought about how I don't have to open the computer everyday to write or edit, and I actually felt the empty/available space in my mind (it was kind of weird!). No more stress or thoughts about the thesis. It had been a large part of my daily routine since January, and now all the sudden, it doesn't have to be! It was a relief, but at the same time left me with a bizarre feeling. The thesis had been part of my purpose, my everyday existence. I realized in that moment that I didn't want my to-do list or daily activities to be my purpose in this life.

So now that I have this "free space" I don't just want to fill it with something else to do, or expand the stress in another area of my life to fill the gap. I desire to fill that space, and have the other space taken over by a peace for the everyday and love for people. These two things might sound odd together, but God is trying to show me that I need to continue to let go of the selfish motives I have for a lot of activities, and focus my time and energy on the people He loves and cares for. I don't desire to go through life with my agenda, tasks, to-do's only to reach the end of life and realize I have missed the entire point. This is not to say that God won't give me amazing opportunities, fun things to see and do, etc. (he already has!), but I was not put on this earth to do whatever the heck I want, even though that is the message of popular culture today. (Thanks Rod Brace for writing Simplify, which I just finished reading). If you want to borrow this book, I will be happy to lend it to you! I recommend it for a fresh perspective on how you think about, process, and act in the world.
Thanks for reading!
:)